Boggling Mind…

Long time, no post! I know… My apologies… But you cant blame me for this… 6th sem B.Tech ICE with subjects like POWER ELECTRONICS and the creed, followed by a “so-called” Industrial Internship or Training or whatever (read S-C-R-E-W-I-N-G), followed by the never-ending, ever-exhausting, extremely boring, GRE preparation, followed by the Designing Venture (which is soon to be ventured into)… All this and more, accompanied by the long-lasting Home Renovation (Its been almost 8 months now *sob* *sob*)… Add to this, the world famous IEEE BVCOE Chairperson responsibilities…

That almost sums up the reason for my chronic absence!

All this, I believe, also explains my mood-swings, rather mind-swings.

I dont know what has gotten into me lately. One moment I’m happy and cheerful as a child, and the other, I’m shouting at someone for no reason. While I was certain about myself earlier, I’m confused now. My firm decisions have given way to indecisiveness. Last year I argued with my parents until they relented their nod for my PG, and now, when they’re all but reluctant, I find myself wondering if I’m taking the right path. People who know me know that I’m usually polite, but now, at times, I resort to rude behaviour or impolite language.

Lets just say my mind is very much troubled these days for no reason whatsoever. Not exactly troubled, confused or dazed would be a more appropriate word for the condition. Not to mention the fear at the back of my mind, the fear of securing a suppli in PE, the fear of not being able to make it to MS, the fear of under-performing at any point of time, the fear of letting my near ones down, and so on and so forth.

All this may sound child-like whims, but I’m experiencing it nonetheless. It is said that teenage years are the most troubled ones; looks like I sailed through the difficult period easily, and am now facing difficulties entering the real adult world. Maybe its the sense of more freedom, or the burden of newer responsibilities, or the peer pressure arising from insecurities and ego, I dont know to what should I attribute my mind-swings. I may seem to be cheerful and friendly on the outside, but the churning of various thoughts inside my mind makes it difficult from inside. It hinders my thought process, my creativity, my imagination, affects my decisions, my countenance, in short, boggles me and throws me completely off the track; and now matter how hard I try, the resistance offered on the return path is too much to overcome.

I dont know why is this happening, I dont want it to happen, and I have no clue as to how to overcome it. All I do is try to retain whatever sanity I can and hope the botheration ends soon.

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  1. Hey Nidhs..

    I know what u’re going thru is difficult..And i feel everyone comes to this point when one is just frustrated of the world..It is because u have ur present responsibilities plus new ones like PG,designing venture etc..Maybe it seems too much at the moment..Just relax and all will happen smoothly..Mind swings are very common because this is an indication that U have entered into the real world..Where u have a support of ur parents but u cannot totally depend on them..U have ur life where u have a huge responsibility and this is the adult world..

    Knowing u, I am sure of one thing..U wunt ever let anyone down when it comes to performing..I have seen u handling so many things simultaneously and u have always succeeded..And now too u will..Just dunt take so much stress and all will be cool..Regarding ur behaviour, people close to u will understand..So dunt worry 🙂

    Hope u come out of this Mind swings soon..Love ya

    • Shilpa
    • July 15th, 2009

    Hey Nidzie,
    By reading wat you wrote, i can feel what exactly you are going through. I wont say that its all part of life and all that blah blah. All I would say is hope for the best and do whatever you can but dont push yourself hard. About your mind swings, well people whom you matter won’t mind about it and those who mind it, well they don’t matter.
    All the best dear. Loads of hugs and love

    • varun
    • July 15th, 2009

    you know,there comes a time in everyone’s life when they must stand for themselves.one thing that i have realized is that u won’t understand the purpose of something until it’s time has come.how much our parents used to give us advice when we were small,but it sounded like nagging then..now it all comes back to you ’bout how right they were..the reason u didn’t heed those words then is simple, it wasn’t meant to be…the world unfolds in its own mysterious ways,so don’t fret about it.sooner or later you’ll realize what your purpose is.go with the flow ‘coz the journey is more interesting than the destination…
    and when your time comes…….you’ll know.

    (p.s.- it’s an original)

    • Eks
    • July 15th, 2009

    Hey Nids..

    I understand where you’re coming from .. and what all you must be going through. Its not easy and definitely very frustrating at times. Well, maybe you’ve taken too much onto yourself, not to mention the high standards you’ve set for yourself and the kind of expectations you have.

    Moving ahead, for sure its not going to be easy .. but you gotta take each day as it comes .. and ofcourse, work hard. Wake up every morning with a smile and tell yourself that you will make it through the day with flying colours. Once the mood is set, things definitely move in a positive direction and everything follows 🙂

    About your mood swings .. it happens with everyone .. just depends on how one handles it. Whenever you feel a certain change in mood, think of something good .. a fun moment, a funny thought or whatever .. and you’ll realise your mood is back to what it should be like .. cheerful, fun and positive 🙂

    All the best … Love ya loads! mwuaah!
    Eks.

    • ankit govil
    • July 16th, 2009

    well,to say that i understand what u r going through would be stating the obvious(3 out of 4 people who commented before me also said so).but u know this is the time which will never come back, but the choices that we make right now,will reflect on the rest of our lives.the journey that we embark upon now,might deide the destiny as well.

    when it has to come,it will come,and we’ll see to it when it comes…
    cheers!!

  2. hmm…i m not a regular reader of ur blog but aftr reading dis blog i m going 2 be.

    This is a tuff phase of life frm which u r going through. Everybody experiences dis phase in their life’s. They say “THE HARDER YOU ARE TESTED, THE BETTER YOU EMERGE”. dere is a lot of burden on ur shoulders of achieving ur aim, holding up to ur near ones expectatns etc etc. By fighting all d fears & jumping ovr the hurdles you will reach a beautiful end. It is worth all dis trouble bcs u knw dat at the end of the day u will emerge as a bettr person.So i propose dat you shld concentrate on ur work & avoid thinkng abt d results.

    Bst f lck…:)

    • Sejal
    • July 20th, 2009

    awww…..
    Studies are such a burden these days…. But yeah its important hope u get over it as soon as possible… 🙂

    • nidoo
    • July 20th, 2009

    @ Anku, Shilpa, Varun, Eks, Ankit, Abhinav, Sejal – Thank you soo much guyss for such kind words… It really boosted my morale 🙂 🙂 🙂

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