That one thought…

Sometimes, in solitude, when you have nothing to do and your mind just wanders on its own, hidden thoughts creep up on the surface; thoughts buried in the subconscious, under slimy layers of the conscious, since when even you wouldn’t know; unfulfilled desires, whims and fancies, or even cherished moments that were long forgotten.

That is when stirring takes place, of your emotions, your perceptions, your beliefs, your soul, your whole being. If you remember an ugly phase, “Why did it happen?” If you find yourself blissful, “Oh man! I was so lucky! Such happiness I’ve never known!” All the introspection and retrospection transports you into another world, a world known to you, yet mysterious. And the beauty of the mystery is you cannot still fathom it. It leads you down a spiral path, twisting and turning just when you thought you had it straight. You delve deeper and deeper, trying to find a solution to the unending puzzle; yet, as always, it remains an enigma.

And then, contrary to your gradual falling in, you snap out of it, as suddenly as possible. How, or why, the reverie is broken, you do not know; but when it does, common sense takes over, the conscious once again prevails. The softness fades away, taking with it that one moment that you had just relived, and harsh reality blows into your face. Aah! How wonderful it would be to stay entranced by that memory, to keep reliving that one moment, to let the dream world linger on for a few more seconds. How soothing to keep distance from the present for a while, to let the past rise and shine. How beautiful to lose yourself in memories instead of the everyday conundrums. If only that was possible everytime you faced a hard truth, witnessed an ugly tiding, you would be relieved of the gloom. How strange, that even an unhappy memory when remembered becomes a sweet lesson, a minor passing. If only there were memories and dreams all around, life would not be so exacting, and some of the bitterness would be gone. But without sour grapes, would you ever realize the importance of sweet berries? I guess not. And that is the reason, day comes after night and black has white. If you would not live the present moment to its best, how would you create a beautiful memory, a pleasing thought.


An Insight into Computerised Process Control

August 18, 2009, Tuesday, 09:15 AM, B – 103

What experiment are we going to perform in the lab today? When will we get to see the freshers? When can I boast of completing the entire Barron’s GRE word list? Will I score enough in my GRE? How will I fare in the final year?

These are some of the questions I have deliberately forced my mind to seek answers for, to prevent drowsiness from seeping in.

Welcome to the lecture of “Computerised Process Control”!

The Respected H O D, I C E, BVCOE, was very keen on teaching the ICE 2K10 batch before the session started. He is still keen on imparting all the knowledge he has ever gained, and it does not bother him at all that he teaches the basics of Analog Electronics, and, Linear Integrated Circuits, in the name of an ICE core subject. Apparently, he loves to drone on and on; and he loves OP-AMPs; and he loves to combine the two to deliver a highly insightful lecture.

It is definitely not the best way to start the day, I must say. The first lecture in the morning ought to energize us; and this is as ironic as it can get. Its hard enough to keep the eyes open and head upright, God forbid if I have to keep a tab on the lecture’s contents too. I might learn something about the basic circuitry of the “multi-used” Operatonal amplifiers, if I paid attention, and if his voice doesnt irritate me to death.

By the way, today we’re doing signal conditioning – filtration, using OP-AMPs ofcourse! I wonder if the end-sem CPC paper is going to ask us the schematics and configurations of the lovely Operational amplifiers.

I have serious doubts regarding our Hon’Ble HOD sir. Is he aware of the fact that he is the ICE HOD, and not an ECE Prof.? <– This is the topmost on my list, second being his deliberate consideration of misusing his authority to fail us in whatever aspect he can. Looks like he was brainwashed in his formative years against anything that was not electronics, or, irritating, or “of high standardization” as he says.

And now all of a sudden, he is smiling. Sorry. No clue about the reason whatsoever, nor does it bother anyone now. Its a regular practice for him to crack (murmur) a joke nobody notices, and smile at it for purely his own self-entertainment purposes.

And he’s also asking us to design a notch filter that could exactly block 50Hz (Uh.. Err.. looks like I have started to pay attention to him). Well anyways, he wants us to design the thing, and go about it really smug, displaying the supposedly original diagrams and circuits and logics to anyone within a radius of 0.1m. He has actually asked us to consider it as our minor project. No jumping at the easiness of the situation. He’ll just turn around and babble about something insignificant if we’re going to ask his permission for the same.

Thankfully, he has now skipped Sample & Hold Circuits; but.. uhh.. oh.. he’s now showing an interest in ADCs. Come on! Its already 09:55. dont you realize its time?

Ok.. Now that he has had a look at his watch (due to Vicky’s entrance for the next lecture.. we owe him that one), he’s planning to retreat. And, thankfully, because of my register, pen, brains and the ability to think and coordinate it with my hands to write, I’ve been able to successfully skip the major part of the torture, and utilise my intellectual energies elsewhere.

Go Live!

“Paayaliya, paayaliya kahe ke piya ghar jaaun
Paayaliya, paayaliyaa…”

The soft melody rings in the ears, and though the beats dissolve with time, the euphony stays in the mind.
Whats better than to listen to the sounds of love in the dead of night. Complete silence, perfect harmony. This is the time when my brain is relaxed, body soothed, and thats why I prefer studying in the late hours every day. Last night, however, was different. Instead of concentrating on Barron’s, I was focussing on the irony this song represents.
Such a soulful number, from such a bold and harsh movie; and the lyrics are ironical too. Strangely, none of the leading ladies in the movie gets to go to their piya’s ghar. This is what life’s all about. Its predictable, surprising, boring, exciting, difficult, simple, all at the same time. With the conception of such idea, my thought process gained momentum, and before I could stop myself, I was penning down the jumbled words then echoing in my mind in a clean manner. Here’s what I wrote on Life last night :
An unfathomable mystery, an unsolved riddle, an unquenchable thirst, an endless search – Life is the only thing that has eluded man’s logical mind for centuries. It does not succumb to any reasoning the brain provides, nor does it works on the heart’s orders, thus, for once, calling it quits between the two decision makers.
Life has its own decisions and its own ways to implement them. This may point towards a unified supreme power, which undoubtedly, is looking over everyone, guiding everyone’s life. You may feel happy when you achieve your preset goal, but the knowledge that the aim was always meant to be fulfilled by you, escapes your notice. On the other hand, you may toil day and night for that one particular accolade, and suddenly life may spring up a bouncer at you, bowling you over.
Good – Bad, Beautiful – Ugly, Joy – Sorrow, Right – Wrong, Black – White, life does not know, nor does it care. It throws surprises at you, surprises that may be good or bad, beautiful or ugly, joyful or sad, right or wrong, black or white. It does not care if you are engulfed in gloom, or are enjoying radiant happiness. You are but a whit to it, something insignificant, something to be tried and tested, to be reused and recycled, to be judged and misjudged, to be convicted and acquitted, to be captured and thrown. It takes you through a roller – coaster ride, bumping you all the way up and down all the slides; and on the basis of your performance in the ride, it gauges you, decides upon right to live and determines the way you’ll live.
But does that mean that you should give in, succumb to its pressure and act as a defeatist?
NO, period.
Because that unified supreme power which gave life such control, bestowed upon you two of the most precious gifts in the universe – a thinking brain and a feeling heart.
Raise your head, stand up to the challenges, and defeat life, only then can YOU succeed. Make your heart feel, give voice to your conscience, make your brain think, put thoughts into actions. Dont worry if life confiscates your happiness, fight the gloom and flash a brilliant smile. No problem if you get thrown in a deeply dug pit, climb back up. Life’s kick shouldn’t scare you, rather it should make you stand on your feet again. Break the shackles life wants to arrest you into, instead extend your hands and tie it up. Dont go the way life takes you, take life the way YOU want to go. Remember, you are born to live, you are not living because you are born.
Go Live!
The post has been co-authored by Moksha Sharma, who helped convert a stream of erratic thoughts into a meaningful article.

Boggling Mind…

Long time, no post! I know… My apologies… But you cant blame me for this… 6th sem B.Tech ICE with subjects like POWER ELECTRONICS and the creed, followed by a “so-called” Industrial Internship or Training or whatever (read S-C-R-E-W-I-N-G), followed by the never-ending, ever-exhausting, extremely boring, GRE preparation, followed by the Designing Venture (which is soon to be ventured into)… All this and more, accompanied by the long-lasting Home Renovation (Its been almost 8 months now *sob* *sob*)… Add to this, the world famous IEEE BVCOE Chairperson responsibilities…

That almost sums up the reason for my chronic absence!

All this, I believe, also explains my mood-swings, rather mind-swings.

I dont know what has gotten into me lately. One moment I’m happy and cheerful as a child, and the other, I’m shouting at someone for no reason. While I was certain about myself earlier, I’m confused now. My firm decisions have given way to indecisiveness. Last year I argued with my parents until they relented their nod for my PG, and now, when they’re all but reluctant, I find myself wondering if I’m taking the right path. People who know me know that I’m usually polite, but now, at times, I resort to rude behaviour or impolite language.

Lets just say my mind is very much troubled these days for no reason whatsoever. Not exactly troubled, confused or dazed would be a more appropriate word for the condition. Not to mention the fear at the back of my mind, the fear of securing a suppli in PE, the fear of not being able to make it to MS, the fear of under-performing at any point of time, the fear of letting my near ones down, and so on and so forth.

All this may sound child-like whims, but I’m experiencing it nonetheless. It is said that teenage years are the most troubled ones; looks like I sailed through the difficult period easily, and am now facing difficulties entering the real adult world. Maybe its the sense of more freedom, or the burden of newer responsibilities, or the peer pressure arising from insecurities and ego, I dont know to what should I attribute my mind-swings. I may seem to be cheerful and friendly on the outside, but the churning of various thoughts inside my mind makes it difficult from inside. It hinders my thought process, my creativity, my imagination, affects my decisions, my countenance, in short, boggles me and throws me completely off the track; and now matter how hard I try, the resistance offered on the return path is too much to overcome.

I dont know why is this happening, I dont want it to happen, and I have no clue as to how to overcome it. All I do is try to retain whatever sanity I can and hope the botheration ends soon.

My Angel


I look at her and smile,
an angel in disguise she is…
I assure myself, she’s mine,
and let the moments kiss!

She flutters, she sways,
she dances with the night…
White as clouds, with a dash of pink,
she transforms gloom into light!

Charming as ever, beautiful forever,
she brightens my days…
Spreading the glowing radiance,
my vision fills with her rays!

Days pass, she grows,
I wait with my breath bated…
The moment finally dawns,
for which I had dreadfully waited!

I knew it would happen,
not sure how and when…
But one day she would leave me,
to abode in her den!

Picking her in my arms,
cradling like a child…
I wanted it to be peaceful,
her end to be mild!

I wanted to cry,
but tears would not come…
I sat there silent,
neither was I numb!

I knew it was inevitable,
I knew she had to go…
Though I longed for her to live,
I knew the destiny was so!

True to my heart I say,
its her that I miss…
If only she was here,
it would have been a bliss!

She took my soul,
and left me all alone…
With the pain and the gloom,
and the darkness to be borne!

Who was she I know not,
neither do I ask, nor hear…
But she was the only one,
to solace, she let me be near!

A fairy? An angel?
or a blessing in disguise?
Whoever she was,
she was special in my eyes!

I look up at the skies,
in prayer my hands fold…
I want her to be happy,
her memories, I hold!

Years pass by,
I pick the rusty frame…
The twinkle in her eye,
I find, is still the same!

I looked at her and smiled,
an angel in disguise she was…
I assured myself she was mine,

and let the moments pass!


Designing to Dancing – One on One with Tina Kuwajerwala


Tina Darira Kuwajerwala, the pretty and talented wife of well-known television anchor-cum-actor Husein Kuwajerwala, came into the limelight with the famous dance reality show – Nach Baliye 2, in 2006. The couple eventually was crowned winner. And till date, Husein credits his lovely wife for their victory. Find out why…

NG: Nach Baliye was the platform which gave you instant fame and recognition. You managed to win the prestigious show despite being an outsider to the show-business, and Husein still credits you for the victory.

TDK: Nach Baliye is a huge platform to debut on, and it was really scary. Husein may credit me for the victory, but I have four people to credit. First being Husein obviously, because of whom I got the opportunity to perform on such a huge platform; also because he showed so much faith in me by accepting the offer, in spite of knowing that I was the only one who had never faced the camera before.

I still remember his words when he was convincing me to accept the challenge; he said “I know it’s tough and I wouldn’t do it if I was in your place but I don’t mind even if we get out in the first round.. I trust you to do full justice”.

Second, our choreographers – Harshall and Vitthal – who also showed immense faith in me and put in that extra hard work that was required for someone who was a complete non dancer. They rehearsed with me for 6-8 hours daily and then again 3-4 hours with Husein and never once did I hear them say ‘pack up, we are tired’. They took care of me like a new born baby.

Third are the sweetest fans who,  time and again, have given us so much love and supported us in all that we attempt. The number of votes, the messages, the mails, and the forums created – it is all so humbling; that at times Husein and I wonder what we have done to deserve so much love. I would just like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of them.

Fourth, I would credit the entire team of Nach Baliye – Star, production house Sol and all employees of Star and Sol, the judges, the Director – Mr. Deepak Gattani, our co-contestants  –  who gave me so much confidence that I could be amongst them. The light men, camera men, spot boys – because they all took care of me like I was their child. I still remember the light men, spot boys clapping when we had done our first technical rehearsal for the blind fold act; everyone was so supportive. I don’t think I could’ve done anything or come out victorious without all this love and support.

NG: According to you, how important is hard-work; and how far do other factors like luck and destiny influence the outcome?

TDK: I am a complete believer of hard work. Yes, other factors like luck, fate, and destiny do influence the outcome, but none of these factors work without the one main factor, and that is hard work. Like the saying goes – ‘God helps those who help themselves’. It’s like saying ‘I’ll pass without studying’. No amount of luck or destiny can make anyone pass without putting in the effort to study. So according to me, hard work is 100 percent important. Once that is achieved, you can about 10 percent depend on other secondary factors like luck, fate, destiny etc.

NG: You and Husein were the only couple who managed to stay away from all the controversies on the show. What do you attribute this to?

TDK: From the very beginning, Husein and I had decided that, come what may, we are going to enter the contest for having fun; and that is exactly what we did. We went through a lot of hardships (which is a part and parcel of anything in life), but it was our decision to never let anyone know of it. Both Husein and I had a positive approach to the entire contest and so I guess the results were positive.

For the first 2 rounds, I was burning with fever, during the blindfold act, Husein had carried me and injured my ribs; and a lot of other things happened, but we never let the judges or the audiences get to know all this. We wanted to always be satisfied that the scores given by the judges and the votes by the audience are purely on our performance and not out of sympathy. We were there to enjoy ourselves. We never saw anyone as a threat, never underestimated anyone. Everyone was a friend. We clapped when they performed well, we cried when they cried and we were upset when anyone was eliminated. I think when you have nothing to complain about, controversies can’t creep up.

NG: Today you are largely known as the winner of NB2. Not many people know that you have been a successful entrepreneur before your foray into television. Would you like to tell us about that aspect of your life?

TDK: Yes, throughout the competition, and even now, most people think that I am a housewife. Well, I have always been interested in fashion. I, after doing my fashion course, with the help of my parents opened an export firm called Seventh Avenue Fashions. We export ladies western garments to the U.S. under the brand name ‘Casual Studio’.

In the beginning, I handled the firm all alone, I had just one master for cutting and three tailors for sample making and one artist to make sketches. I used to look after everything else – designing, stock, accounts, fabrics, answering phone calls etc. Sometimes I used to even sweep, swab and dust the office. Slowly and steadily I increased my staff, and now have a full set up of very efficient people who manage without me, thus giving me time to work and design for Husein, get into the local market and high end designing. According to me no work is degrading and I believe ‘Where there is a will, there is a way’.

NG: The trend is usually for female designers to retail in the local market. What made you opt to take the business route instead and export your designed garments to the West?

TDK: I think business opportunities made me choose export instead of local market. Just when I finished my fashion study, an uncle who is settled in the U.S. offered me to work for his clients and I readily agreed and opened my export firm. Also, export teaches you a lot about finishing, color trends, perfection etc. In India, we don’t wear colors according to seasons, but there, they have color forecasts for seasons and even a small thread hanging could end in cancellation of the entire order. So overall, the experience teaches you to do all work perfectly, and that is something I apply even now when I design for Husein or the local market.

NG: Participant in NB2, Host of NB3, innumerous shows across the country and worldwide, and also an established garment business – how did you manage to do it then and continue to do so even now?

TDK: Oh, I think I have just been blessed with very efficient and understanding people; also, technology like the Internet helps a lot. I could never manage all this alone. When I was participating or hosting Nach Baliye or when we travel for shows, my staff is constantly in touch with me over the phone and they execute like pros. Even my local market partner, Satyam, who designs with me for Husein,  just co-ordinates on the phone or mail and we exchange everything from notes to scanning fabrics and deciding what the look will be. Like I said earlier ‘Where there is a will there is a way’.

NG: What according to you is most difficult – designing clothes, managing business, dancing or facing the camera?

TDK: Oh this is a tough question! I think all of the above are difficult. In fact, I believe nothing comes without hardships; everything in life is difficult. But with a focused mind and hard work, anything can be achieved. If I have to choose from the above four, I would say designing clothes is the most difficult, because one needs to keep a lot of factors in mind – like, the structure of a person, likes and dislikes, personal style of the person, etc; and also, different people have different tastes; plus fashion changes every day, so one is constantly working and experimenting with new looks and styles.

NG: What is your personal style mantra?

TDK: My personal style mantra is very clichéd. Wear what suits you and what you are comfortable in. Don’t just try to copy or be someone else.

NG: What tips would you like to give to those youngsters who want to get into the field of fashion designing?

TDK: For all the people who want to pursue fashion designing as their profession, I think the first most important thing is to study from a reputed school. Because designing is not only about having fashion sense or making designs on paper, there are lots of other important factors that make a good fashion designer. Be focused and be ready to work 24×7.

NG: What do you think about the youth of today and what message would you like to give them?

TDK: I think the youth of today is blessed with a lot of opportunities. They should grab these opportunities with both hands and make a success; not only of themselves, but also a success of a beautiful country like India. I also feel that too much negativity prevails in society, especially amongst the youngsters with competition and other such factors. Having the competitive spirit is extremely good, but it has to be healthy. The idea is to think positive and be positive at all times. Lastly let us not ape the West. Drinking, driving fast, smoking and doing drugs is not part of our culture. Let’s save our culture.

Well, this proves that the charming lady is not just a fashion designer-cum-entrepreneur, who also found a standing in the small screen; she is hardworking and positive, and also a responsible and sensible citizen, proud of her roots and her country, and inspires the youth to respect and save their culture!


This interview is an ORIGINAL interview, taken by me; and is not copied from anywhere else.

This interview has been submitted to as a part of the writer’s internship.

Special Thanks to Eks aka Ekta for helping me throughout in all the assignments, and especially this one *hugssss*

And Yes, how can I not thank the very person without whom it had been impossible.. Tina herself! Loads and loads of hugssss and manyy manyy thank you for bearing with me for so long 😛

Breathing in the fresh air…


Day & Date : Saturday, December 20, 2008

Time : 04:55 PM IST

Venue : Maharaja Surajmal Institute of Technology, Janakpuri, New Delhi

At last ! The long awaited moment is to finally arrive.. The moment, which had been in my dreams for so long that it gave me constant headache to think about it anymore; the moment, which is about to dawn on me and thousands more in five minutes from hence; the moment, which comes every six months, granting the ever-wished for solace; the moment, which is to release me from the shackles that are fastened tightly around my brain; the moment, which…………………. TRRRRINNNNGGGGGGGGGG……………
ALAS ! It has come… its 5:00 PM, the bell has rung, and I am, now, breathing in the fresh air…


This, my dear friends, is the state of mind of a deplored youngster of India, who has been doomed to an unknown hard-working fate, who has been brain-washed enough to take up and study the ever-growing and ever-opted for field of “Engineering”; this strong and deep emotion is revealed at the end of another of his/her torturous 6-months, termed as a semester.

Mine was 5th !

5th Mind You ! This means I’ve already had the unfortunate opportunity to have had the same experience 4 times already. By the way, it feels great to realize that I’m done more than half-way through with my privileged “Bachelor of Technology” degree course.

Its been almost 2 months since I’ve been buried in my den, covered from head-to-toe in books from Indian as well as International authors (none of which seemed to enter my head), and notes of all kinds – printed, hand-written, print-outs and mixed (because I had laid my hands, and spent my precious pocket money on each and every bit of paper I found in the College’s Photocopy Shop with ICE-5th sem written on it).

Want to have a look at my schedule? Here you go :

3rd-9th Nov. – Preparation for 2nd sessionals

10th-15th Nov. – 2nd Sessional Examinations

17th-22nd Nov. – Internal Practicals

24th-28th Nov. – External Practicals

29th Nov.-7thDec. – Preparation for Final End-Sem Examination

8th-20th Dec. – End-Sem Examinations

Pheww!! Hectic wasn’t it? You bet!

From one set of exams to another, from our internal irritating invigilators and examiners to the external dumb ones, its been a roller-coaster ride; it always is.. a ride in which you get more bumps than you can ever imagine.. and these bumps give you a pain right in your… head!! What else did you think of, you dirty mind!

Anyways whats done is over now, and there’s no use thinking about it.. So I’ll also let the haunting memories of exams leave me for a few months and try to live in peace, and yes, not to forget, now i’ll be breathing in the fresh air ! 😉

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